June 15, 2003
one week ago yesterday i lost my beloved raggy. his tumors had grown tumors and invited all their friends to reside in my angel, and being the mush that he was, he accepted them with open paws.
when my maxi died in 1980 i thought i'd never connect so deeply with another dog. but when raggy approached me one morning after i had just finished working an exceptionally difficult and long night shift at the hospital, i immediately felt a bond with him.
he was a gentle soul.
he'd had a hard life in the streets (though he wasn't complaining) and
his eyes were full of wisdom and compassion.
i'd found the missing piece to my puzzle.
i took him with me everywhere. he was so peaceful and mellow, i'd forget he was in the car with me.
i'd often look at him and wonder what he looked like as a puppy and the song "you must have been a beautiful baby" would pop into my head.
once, about a year before my mother's death, raggy and i were sitting with her on her porch.
i was basking in admiration for him, and i must have been thinking aloud when i said "he's amazing."
my mom replied: "he's not doing anything."
i retorted: "he's blinking. he's sitting. he's breathing!"
i worshipped that dog.
he will always be alive inside of me and all his human and non-human siblings.